It's You Who'll Have Further to Fall
by bekkers29
Summary: Post-Citadel coup, a grieving Shepard met Kaidan for lunch on the Presidium. Things did not go well, but the king of the bottle shooters is always there to help his best friend pick up the pieces. References Shrios, past Kaidan romance. Just a bit of headcanon that demanded to be written.
1. Chapter 1

Jane Shepard could barely breathe. After an unspeakably uncomfortable lunch with Kaidan, she'd said goodbye and strolled off… until he couldn't see her anymore, and then she sprinted the rest of the way to the elevator. Once the doors closed behind her, she crumpled against the wall, holding back angry tears.

When the doors opened at Dock 24, she stormed out. While her intention was either to run straight to the airlock or to just charge the damn thing, she was stopped in her tracks by a familiar turian voice. "Shepard, if you're feeling up to it, I thought we might do something fun for a change."

She looked over, her face pinched. She was sure Garrus noticed, but he didn't let on as she asked what he had in mind, or as they traded a little banter. Before long, they were on top of the Presidium, Shepard finally beginning to relax as her best friend in the galaxy boasted that this was now his favorite place on the Citadel.

"It's windy up here," she defended. Even if he was being an ass, though, seeing Garrus happy and carefree was such a nice change of pace, she was sure that letting him win was well worth whatever teasing she'd be forced to endure.

"Think I'm going to erect a monument right here, bronze this gun so the whole galaxy knows," he continued.

"That you're the king of the bottle shooters," she cut in, her heart lightening a little as she teased him. "Glad you're around, Garrus. Never know when the bottles might revolt."

"With as many as I've put down, you'd think they'd know better," Garrus joked. He gave Shepard a speculative look, and came right out with it. "So now that we've put down the inanimate objects, want to tell me what's on your mind?"

"Not especially," Shepard replied honestly, going to sit down. She was quiet for a time, but as Garrus sat down across from her, she finally heaved a sigh. "Kaidan asked me to meet him for lunch today. He… he told me he understood why I_ cheated_ on him."

"Cheated?" Garrus blinked hard, a scowl almost instantly in place. "Cheated? What, with Thane? It seemed pretty clear to me where he stood with you on Horizon."

"That's what I thought, too," she replied, bowing her head. "I just… Thane was… _is_ the love of my life, Garrus, and no one but you ever even said they were sorry for my loss," she added unsteadily, her shoulders shaking with effort as she held back tears.

He reached out carefully and put a firm hand on her shoulder. "Everyone else seemed a little too absorbed in making you more hero than person," he said. "I think Mr. Alenko and I are going to have a 'chat'."

"Better you than me," Shepard replied, her tone uncharacteristically dark. Standing up, she went to look out over the Presidium. "Kaidan once said he loved me, and yet he doesn't even respect me enough to acknowledge that what Thane and I had was _real. _I hate him, Garrus. Right now, I absolutely fucking _hate_ him," she spat, biotics flaring as her hands balled into fists.

"I can't say I think much of him myself," Garrus agreed. "Just let me handle him. I'll set him right. Must be a universal male thing, lying to yourself about having a chance when the ship has sailed." Shaking his head, he stood, going to stand as close as he dared. "But right now, you're the priority. This isn't like you, Shepard. You don't need to simmer in this."

"I know," Shepard agreed with a weary sigh, breathing deeply for a minute or so as she brought her biotics back under control. "I just… I really thought he was _done_ hurting me."

"You can't let him under your skin," Garrus advised. "And this is coming from me. I know how betrayal feels." He touched her shoulder again, this time a little more gently. "I can put him back in the hospital for you if you want."

Shepard let loose a startled bark of laughter, but then she sighed wearily. "I'm sure you could, and thanks for the offer, but… he's not worth it."

"No, he's not," Garrus agreed, his voice almost a growl, but he gave Shepard a warm amused look. "Now, we could shoot more things or just sit up here. If you're up for the sitting, I did bring alcohol."

"Pour the drinks, then," Shepard said, going to sit back down. "And… thanks, Garrus. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Shepard, please, we've been over this. You'd save the galaxy, just not as stylishly," Garrus said, going to get the wine. He poured two glass tumblers and passed one over, taking a seat on the weapons case and patting next to him. "To the people who always have your back."

Settling beside him, she clinked their glasses together. "To absent friends," she added softly, a slight quaver in her voice.

Garrus nodded in agreement, and he took a long drink. "You know, I think I don't mind running into hell anymore. Can't think of anyone I'd rather dive right in with."

"Likewise," Shepard replied, taking a drink. "You're not going to propose marriage now, are you?" she teased, throwing his earlier words back at him.

"Only if you don't mind adoption," Garrus countered, giving her a playful wink.

Shepard laughed. "That'll probably be my only option, anyway. At this point, I think I'm swearing off human men for good."

"Leave your options open," Garrus said, nudging Shepard with his elbow. "And hey, I know Thane was the one, but that doesn't mean a different one won't come your way. Don't close yourself off, all I'm saying."

"We'll see," Shepard replied, a bit more sharply than she'd intended. Letting out a sigh, she bowed her head. "After the war… we'll see."

Garrus debated his course of action for a second, and then he slid an arm around Shepard's shoulders. "Whatever happens, I've got your back. You can lean on me when you're tired of being the hero."

Shepard was quiet for a while, but finally decided against asking what she should do if she was just plain tired of _being_. "I appreciate that, Garrus."

"Any time, Shepard," he said simply.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaidan sat in the Starboard Observation Deck, staring off into space. He was almost an hour into a good sulk, as well as halfway through Shepard's get well present. He reached for his glass, scowling at the liquid inside before taking a long swallow. Seriously, why did Shepard give him a bottle of whiskey if not to assure him she was still interested? "This sucks," he muttered to himself.

"Being turned down always does," Garrus said, walking in. "Though there are a few things that suck even more."

"Yeah, like what?" Kaidan muttered, glancing over. "A war that decides the fate of a galaxy?"

"Hm, that's pretty bad," Garrus said, taking a seat. "Being verbally assaulted by your ex when you're mourning the death of the man you love is up there, too."

Being... what? What the hell did Shepard say?" Kaidan asked, his inebriated mind skipping over a good half of what Garrus had said. "Is she pissed I asked her to pick up the tab when what was supposed to be a date turned into a big nothing?"

"Did you not hear what I just said?" Garrus replied. "The tab was _nothing_. What did I just tell you?" He looked over, predatory.

Kaidan jerked back in surprise, and a little fear, spilling his drink. He paused, forcing himself to think past the alcohol. "You said she's... mourning the death of the man she loves?" He cocked his head to the side. "That assassin she was seeing, he's dead?"

"Not just that, he swore to her to watch your sorry ass while you were in the hospital," Garrus said. "And he gave his life to save the salarian councilor... while he was terminally ill, I might add."

"Thane Krios, the man that saved Valern... I had no idea that was who she was involved with," Kaidan said, running a hand over his face as it finally clicked in his head that Shepard had been wearing black ever since the Cerberus coup. "He was going by a different name at the hospital, but we were in the same physical therapy class. He seemed like a good guy."

"He was," Garrus said, his expression still fixed. "And he never once doubted Shepard or made accusations about her. Never. He was there for her through it all, and he died doing your job."

"Yeah, okay. I'm an asshole," Kaidan muttered, heaving a sigh. "I get it."

"No, you clearly don't get it," Garrus returned. "And if we didn't need you on the team, I'd be busy breaking your face again."

"Jesus, Vakarian! What else can I say?" Kaidan exclaimed, turning away to look out the window again. "I screwed it all up. I doubted Shepard, practically called her a traitor, and then I kept right on doubting her. Hell, I eventually pulled a _gun_ on her. The worst part may actually be that I know she wouldn't have shot me." He glanced over at Garrus. "You would have, though. Talk about people who always have her back."

"You're damn right I would have," Garrus said. "I'd have hated it, but I'd have done it." He finally leaned back, though his eyes were still trained on Kaidan. "I never want to see her cry again," he said, his voice softer. "I could seriously hate you for that."

At the revelation, Kaidan looked gut-punched. "Oh my god, I didn't..." Leaning his head back, he let out a short, humorless laugh. "At this point, I don't know if I should apologize or just leave her the hell alone."

"Let her sleep the wine off," Garrus said. "She's in her cabin. I plan on going by later with something to help her with the hangover."

"That's good of you," Kaidan said, looking at the turian thoughtfully. "Hey Garrus, can I ask you a question... well, another question, after this one?"

"Sure, go for it," Garrus replied.

"You love her, too, don't you?" Kaidan asked.

He didn't reply for a moment, just looked back at Kaidan, but he finally heaved a sigh. "That noticeable?"

Kaidan shrugged. "Nah, probably not to anyone else. I've just, well, known you both for a while, and sometimes I'm not an idiot."

"No, sometimes you're not." He let out another sigh and looked out over the stars. "That's why I couldn't understand why you'd be so thoughtless. Jealousy has no place in love. You love her, you make her happy, be happy for her, and when she needs a shoulder, you offer it with no strings attached. Everyone wants something from her. She should be allowed to take."

"Yeah, you're right about that," Kaidan replied thoughtfully. "Well, if anyone deserves a chance with her... later, after she's _stopped_ wearing black, it's definitely you."

"I'm not going to press the issue," Garrus said. "Even if she's never ready, I'll have her back. That's enough for me."

"You're a good man, Garrus," Kaidan said. "From now on, though, I'll have her back, too. I know I'll never have another shot with her, and I sure as hell don't deserve one." He paused, contemplating his glass. "But I can show her the respect she deserves, and I can do my damnedest to keep her safe. I owe her a lot more than that, but maybe it's a start."

Finally, Garrus seemed to relax. "Definitely a start. She needs people she trusts not to put a bigger burden on her." He stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I should get back to work."

"Yeah, you have fun with those calibrations," Kaidan said, cracking a smile.

"Oh, you know me. Always calibrating," Garrus said with a snort, and he wandered out.


End file.
